Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in zetorux's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
10:04 pm	Yuck. Before I write anything, I feel I should clarify the following: I don't like complaining about stupid stuff, especially on LiveJournal, because I know it never solves anything. However, I feel this is worth mentioning if for no other reason than to get a few (morbid) laughs: So, uh, somebody in my suite decided it would be a great idea to wipe their ass with a cardboard toilet paper roll. As a result, the toilet overflowed and the bathroom floor was soon covered with a heterogeneous mixture of toilet water, urine, and what I assume can only be trace amounts of fecal matter. It was pretty cool because it definitely overflowed outside of the bathroom and onto the carpet. It has since evaporated, but there is still a nice clod of shit sitting in the toilet from at least 40 hours ago. So you'd think that the bathroom would smell pretty bad. And, well, you'd be right. But the funny thing is, the kitchen actually smells much worse than the bathroom. For some reason, people keep throwing rotting food into the trash can in the kitchen. I don't know what kind of shit they're eating, but it's really gross and it just sits there and attracts bugs until somebody (me) takes out the trash. In fact, I'm going to do that as soon as I finish typing this because I almost gagged the last time I walked into the kitchen. I can handle taking out the[ir] trash; that's something I can live with. But the toilet? I don't even know what to do about that. I don't own a plunger, and I really have to draw the line when it comes to cleaning up somebody else's literal shit. Obviously, it's kind of inconvenient because I have to walk down three flights of stairs just to take a piss, but I'm way more concerned about germs and such. At some point last week, I decided it would a fun exercise to count the number of times I thought or said, "I can't wait until I live on my own" in a single day. Unfortunately, I've lost count every time. It has become a mantra for me. But it is true: Having my own house or apartment seems like the best thing in the world to me right now. ... But besides my current living conditions, everything is great. I've been doing well, college is enjoyable, and I've been pretty happy overall. I've been kind of busy over the past couple months, but things are good. Much of my time has been devoted to post-college job applications. Tamir has been a huge help; I think we've spent at least 40-50 hours so far quizzing each other on random computer science topics that could potentially show up in an interview. It's pretty cool. Oh, and for the longest time, I've been intending to write an entry about what eventually happened with my phone, since a few people were curious. This is only one of many things I haven't gotten around to doing lately, but once I free up a bit more time, I'll be sure to go back and do all that stuff. But I'm going to go take out that trash bag now. Just thinking about it is making me feel a bit nauseous. Ughhhhhh, hahaha Current Mood: tired (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 19th, 2009
11:49 pm	PhilNoPhoneKid: Part 2 Regarding the last entry... I think I have a solution... (Briefly read the previous entry to get an idea of how my phone crapped out, then jump back here) -- Shortly after I posted the previous entry, my friend Joe offered some help. He told me how to perform a hard reset on the phone (which I suspect would fix the problem), but I said I was a little reluctant to try that just yet because I don't want to lose all my contacts, pictures, etc. Then I mentioned my theory that the phone was freezing while trying to download text messages. So I asked if there was a good way to prevent my phone from getting a connection. He suggested putting it in the microwave. (No, I did not turn the microwave on :P) Strangely enough, this worked. The phone didn't get a connection, and more importantly, the phone didn't freeze. (It's been in there for about twenty-five minutes with absolutely no problems) This means the phone is definitely crashing in the process of downloading text messages. (Keep in mind that I could send texts and even make calls, so the problem is specific to the act of downloading) I still don't know why it can't download texts properly -- and unfortunately, I may never know -- but at least I know how to prevent (and cause) the problem on my phone. So my plan is to either find a very large microwave or possibly some isolated area in the basement of Wean Hall that blocks my phone reception, and save all my data. I can save my pictures via Bluetooth, and at the very worst, I can at least write down my address list, so I'm not in bad shape. (I have an outdated text file containing my contacts from my old phone, so it actually wouldn't be that much work to write them all down) After then, I'll either take it to a Verizon store or reset it myself, and hopefully I should be good to go from there. Thanks a bunch to everybody who commented. I'll let you know how it goes! ... And if I get it working perfectly again, I may tell Rob to send me that graphic again. I'm very interested to see what would happen if I tried to download it without a nearly-full Inbox. If I can get the phone to screw up on command, then we're looking at a pretty hilarious exploit. The developers may be interested in this. Current Mood: relieved (6 Comments |Comment on this)
9:20 pm	PhilNoPhoneKid Sup guys, do me a favor and read about my Phone Problem Yeah, so a rather interesting thing happened with my phone today. Background information: But before I start, I suppose I should give a little background info on my phone: I have an LG VX9100 (enV2), the same phone that everybody and their mom has. I've never modified it or done anything fancy with it. The most complicated thing I've ever done was copy pictures off the phone via Bluetooth (which has always worked just fine). I've had the phone for about a year, and I've never had any problems with it before. That being said, here's what happened: How it "broke": While hanging out with Rob and Tom (of the "NoBarKid" family), at one point, we started sharing pictures on our phones. Rob sent me one of the small default graphics from his phone to mine. It appeared correctly, but I noted that it displayed differently. From my inbox, the preview of the text was just "[Object]", and when viewing the text, it didn't give me the Erase option on the bottom-left corner (although the option still existed in the menu). The graphic was a small monochromatic 16x16(?) sprite of an umbrella. I suspect everything that I've described so far is perfectly normal, but I had never received one of those before, so I figure it's worth mentioning. A few minutes later, he tried to send me another (much larger) default graphic, but this is where it gets weird: I got the usual "New Text Message" notification, so I proceeded to open the text -- but when I pressed the button, my phone just froze on the New Text Message screen for a really long time. I don't know for how long, because I eventually just put it away, but it wasn't responding to any of my keypresses or anything. Since then, my phone has been incredibly unstable: Behavior: If I turn on the phone, it functions normally -- but only for a very short time. After a variable time of using the phone (anywhere between 3 and 30 seconds), it will freeze for about a minute, then the screen will go blank as if it were turned off. After a few seconds, it will restart (as if rebooting from a crash), and the cycle will repeat. Even if I don't touch the phone at all, it will still repeat the above process. I have not received a text since the phone started acting up, and I know that I have texts to receive. This makes me wonder if the phone is crashing in the process of attempting to download a text message. (I will later try using the phone in an area where I am less likely to get reception to test this theory) When I try to view the text message that screwed it up, it just appears as a few random characters. I can still send texts (provided I can manage to send them before the phone freezes -- which, by the way, is very difficult) I was even able to make a short call to a friend. The phone's screen froze mid-call (three seconds into the conversation), but interestingly, this freeze did not interrupt the call itself. However, the phone would not respond to any of my keypresses (so I believe it was he who ended the call), and the screen never updated since the call. It rebooted about a minute later, like usual. I can turn the phone on and off. (But I can only turn it off if I so do before the phone freezes) Clearing my text messages (including the two aforementioned texts with the graphics) did not solve the problem It may also be relevant to note that when I received the problematic text, my Inbox was nearly full. It's difficult to speculate, since I don't have a clue how this phone stores data, but it may be possible that I somehow overwrote data outside of the Inbox storage and screwed something up. (And I might as well mention this now: I don't know the model of his phone or which graphic he tried to send, but I can ask) Okay, I asked: He has a Samsung SGH-E635 T-Mobile phone. The first embedded graphic he sent me was the Rain graphic, and the second text contained all three of the Cat, Dinner, and Stars graphics. He thinks the Stars graphic may have been problematic, since it is significantly larger than the other three (including the Rain graphic, which displayed properly). Help: I absolutely need a working phone fairly soon because I'm expecting a call from a recruiter for a phone-based technical interview in a week or so. I'm very excited about the job opportunity, so I'd hate to miss out on that just because my phone randomly decided to break. Not to mention, my phone functions as my alarm, my watch, my camera, one of my primary forms of communication, and the only medium through which I can effectively remind Tom to wake up in time to turn in his Basic Logic homework. So if you have any suggestions for a fix or ideas on how to isolate the problem (even if they seem stupid), please comment. I can provide more information upon request, and I will probably make an update once I've tested more ideas. Even if I can't fix the phone, I do want to know what happened because it sounds exploitable because it's interesting. :) *whistles* If you read all this, I appreciate it. Thanks tl;dr: Don't expect to be able to contact me through my phone. In other words, it's last year all over again! :P Current Mood: curious (7 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, September 17th, 2009
3:59 pm	It's strangely amusing ... ... that the only guy who ever makes fun of me for playing dancing games is an obese 50+ year old man. :P Then again, today he was only going on and on about how I got tired towards the end of some song and bracketed the last 20%, so maybe I deserved it anyway. >_> Still though, the irony is pretty hilarious. If you're curious, it was something like: Him (in a sarcastic tone): Look, he's finessing it! Ahahahah! Good job man! That was really impressive! REALLY impressive! *He starts clapping* Me (equally sarcastic): Thanks!!!!!!11 Him: No really, that was excellent! No power, no finesse! That is just awesome! *claps more* *I smirk and roll my eyes* Him: Look man, you can't even deny it! *I continue to ignore him and pick my next song* Him: Oooh! Watch out for this part! OOPS! You hit that one like two milleseconds late! Ahahahaha! This really isn't anything new; he actually makes comments like that all the time. Admittedly, it used to piss me off, but now it just seems funny because this is coming from a guy that has gray hair. :P Current Mood: content (9 Comments |Comment on this)
11:13 am	This is gross There has been this pot of disgusting shit sitting in the sink for over a week and it smells awful. Apparently one of my other suitemates is annoyed by it as well, because about three days ago, I found a note on the refrigerator that said to clean it up. This morning, the note was moved to my cupboard. So apparently because the perpetrator is too lazy to respond to the fucking note, the other guy now thinks it's my fault. I suppose I should clear that up with whoever wrote the note. But really, that pot looks like it contains chicken or some similarly disgusting shit. Clearly, it is not my pot. And if it were, I think I would be the one to be pissed. Oh, and speaking of disgusting shit, I haven't sat down on our toilet seat in weeks. If I need to take a dump, I run to campus. I'll leave this one to your imagination. Current Mood: annoyed (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
5:35 pm	entries++ I have been writing a lot of entries lately. This is largely in contrast with this past summer, in which I only wrote ten entries throughout the entire three-month period. I guess there's just a lot more stuff going on now that I'm back at college. Anyway, I'll split this up into parts. The fucking latch: In addendum to the previous entry, sometime yesterday, I solved the problem of being locked out of my suite at night. I took some pictures; they should provide a sufficient explanation for my solution. Thanks to Josh for lending me his Leatherman Multi-Tool. ( Pictures ) Classes: [Here's my schedule] Overall, my classes seem all right so far. I'm signed up for five classes, but right now I only have four because one of them doesn't start until the middle of October. All but one of them fulfill graduation requirements for me, so I'll definitely be keeping those that are necessary, but I'm not entirely sure if I should keep the other one, and I have to decide very soon. I'm signed up for a course in pen-based application development. I thought it would be something I could work on to fill in the gap in my nearly bare schedule, and maybe produce something interesting. And particularly, one thing that seemed appealing about the course was this part of the description right here: Then I get to class and see this on the first slide of the Powerpoint: ... There is definitely a contradiction here. I don't know anybody in the class, and to be quite honest, I don't want to work with anybody in there either. I work much better when all the responsibility is placed on me and I have to do everything myself. Not to mention, we have to decide what project we're going to spend the rest of the semester on by tomorrow, and I'm not sure I want to risk getting stuck with a bad project/group, especially if the course isn't even required. Tomorrow is also the day the laptops are assigned, and I'm not sure that I would want to drop the course after renting hardware for the class either. So I may just drop and pick up a three-unit ("fake") course in its place, although, I do kind of think it would be cool to make something similar to DJMax Technika (without the simultaneous taps; pens obviously can't do that). That's not a project I could really do with a group though. I'm too picky when it comes to rhythm games. And I'm not even sure if it would be suitable for the course (we might be placing more focus on algorithms to process input, like converting strokes to letters/shapes, etc) But yeah, I think I need to make some kind of decision by, uh, tomorrow afternoon. Lame. YouTube: Now with access to the Mac cluster (lol), I actually have the ability to upload videos again. I'm pretty excited about that, despite the fact that editing videos in there is such a pain in the ass. But I got one up last night; I think it's pretty excellent. I still have hours of footage to sift through, but whatever. I need to do it sometime. I'll just end it here. Later. Current Mood: cold (13 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 24th, 2009
3:30 am	Pretty dece way to start off the school year Yeah, I just said dece. So if you were paying attention to the time and date of this entry, you'd probably be wondering why I'm writing a LiveJournal entry right now, the night before my first day of classes. But you weren't paying attention. So fuck you. Anyway, as I was walking back from the bus stop to my apartment, I was considering writing an entry about how pretty much the only thing I've done over the past four days is hack ITG machines. I would have briefly described some of the more annoying obstacles I had to circumvent with our machine, and then I would have proceeded to mention how the NPCH dedicab is so much better now that I had a chance to add a shitload of songs, install OpenITG, and make numerous metrics changes (which, to my surprise, worked perfectly the first time, despite the fact that I couldn't see the two leftmost columns of the screen). But fortunately for you, the esteemed reader, I was soon presented with a much more interesting journal topic the moment I reached the door to my suite. Okay, so it's actually not very interesting at all. But neither are you. osnap`~!11 But anyway, I quickly realized that the door was locked. On our door, there's a normal mechanical lock that opens with a key, but then there's also a latch that you can fasten to keep everybody out, even the people who have keys. I was one of those people, and it was immediately obvious that the door was locked with the latch. Dumb. I spent a few minutes fiddling with the door, trying to force it open, but it showed no signs of moving. I didn't want to hit it any harder because I didn't want to break anything (such as myself), so I eventually just gave up. I considered knocking as a more direct way of getting attention -- and I'll be the first to admit this would have been the most sensible decision -- but I figured that if they weren't responding to my attempts to break down the door, knocking wasn't going to be much more effective. And besides, I really didn't want to wake them up, anyway. Being woken up in the middle of the night makes you want to kill somebody, and I have to live with these guys for the rest of the year. So I figured I'd let it slide just this once. Although, to be fair, it wasn't really that much of a pain in the ass. There are couches in many of the academic buildings. I've slept on them numerous times before; it's nothing new. I guess the only annoying thing was that I was really hungry. I have lots of food in my room; I was planning on eating as soon as I got back. But since the dining areas are all closed, I had to hit up the vending machines, which is not something I like to do. But oh well, they had V8. It was $1.35 for a can, which is totally outrageous, but sometimes a playa gotta drop stacks to get summa dat good shit. You know. I wandered up to the 8th floor couches in Wean since that is my on-campus sleeping area of preference, but some asshole was already sleeping there, so I've claimed the 3rd floor couches instead. And that's where I am right now. But anyway, that latch... why the fuck is it even there? That was one of the first things I noticed when I walked into the suite (since we didn't have one in my old suite). Even then, I remember thinking, "That's really dumb. I hope nobody tries to use that." Yep. And I have to wonder about the thought process that led him to lock the door with that thing anyway. Like, I'm sure it was just a careless oversight, but come on. "Oh shit, I'd better doubly lock the door with this latch; I don't trust that the normal lock is good enough. What if one of the campus officials with a key would try to rob us tonight?" I mean, seriously, there really is no valid line of thought here. ...That is, unless it was intentional. But I haven't had the time nor opportunity to piss anybody off yet, and not to mention, if my fifteen-second introductory conversation is any indicator, I highly doubt I'm being "sexiled" either. (As if anybody has sex at CMU...) So he probably just wasn't thinking. Anyway, my first class isn't even until 11:30, so it's not like I'm screwed or anything. I'll just try the door again in the morning. I would probably be irritated right now, but I played Spinning Around with Minibader right before I left (and we did all of the spins, naturally), so it's kind of hard to be in a bad mood. But I'm tired so I'm going to try to sleep on this bitch now, kBYE Edit: lol, that was kind of uncomfortable Current Mood: tired (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 22nd, 2009
4:23 pm	LOL There were two kids standing beside me on the ITG machine like thirty seconds ago. This is the conversational exchange they just had: *** Kid #1 is dancing around on the pad randomly *** Kid #1: Man, when you get to insane levels, I bet it looks like this! ***Spazzes out on the pad*** Kid #2: No dude, when you get to insane levels, it looks more like this... ***Starts bracket-raping*** I burst out laughing. Then they walked away. Current Mood: thirsty (13 Comments |Comment on this)
12:11 pm	Random notes Shady Oak still doesn't have hot water yet As such, I took a shower in New HouseStever House today. It happened to be the same shower I used every day my freshman year. The two guys living in the room Tom and I used to share have the last names Ching and Chung. When you turn on the water in our sink, the water doesn't come out of the faucet; it comes out of the sprayer and gets water all over your face. It would be ideal for a practical joke, but I think we eventually should get that fixed. My roommate arrived yesterday and I still haven't seen or talked to him (though I can sometimes hear him walking around, using the bathroom, etc). But to be fair, it clearly says on the door that I'm a Computer Science major so I don't think he expects me to introduce myself anyway. When you crack open the door to my room, you can get a perfect view of my monitor. It's a little weird. Along the same lines, anybody standing on one of the balconies in the adjacent building can get a perfect view of my bed. Note to self: Wear clothes Interestingly, the light switch is not anywhere near the door in my room. You actually have to walk across the room to turn it on. I can see myself tripping over some random bullshit on my floor at some point this year; that will be amusing Pretty much nobody is here yet. Tamir's voicemail is retarded Current Mood: calm (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 20th, 2009
5:23 pm	WHERE'S THE PAPER TOWELS!? THROW 'EM OVER HERE. I arrived at CMU this morning :) I'm really quite relieved to be back. The last few days of packing and such weren't exactly enjoyable, and I definitely needed a change of environment anyway. It feels nice to be on campus again. I got here a little early, so there are only a few upperclassmen on campus. It's mostly just freshmen. My suitemates haven't arrived yet either, so that means I got to pick which room I stayed in :D I'm living in the same building as last year, but the place we're living in this time is a little different. This time the rooms are larger, but the kitchen shrunk to about 30% its former size. The bathroom is smaller too. I chose the second largest of the rooms because for some reason, the larger one didn't have air conditioning or a ceiling fan. I still have plenty of floor space though. The desk is larger than last time (as in, it can actually fit the tower for my PC :P) and my bed is higher, which creates even more storage space. The room gets a lot of light, the air conditioner works great, and the bed is right beside the window sill, so I could probably use my laptop in bed and just set the laptop there when I'm ready to pass out. Pretty handy. The only thing that sucks is the placement of the ethernet jack. It's right behind the door. I mean, what the fuck. But fortunately I have really long cables so it ain't no thang. Oh, and I was excited to see that the fan in the bathroom actually works. That should help prevent the shit smell that lingered throughout the place last semester. Seriously, we made multiple requests to get that thing fixed and they never actually got it to work. The ITG machine is pretty fucked up right now. It's on r2, costs $1 for TWO SONGS (no joint/double premium), has no hacks, and only has high scores from like 5 years ago when ITG was actually hard. And it actually is hard because it's fucking r2. I tried to beat Kyle's Spaceman score (98.6) and couldn't. It's so bad. I'll fix it though. :P By the way, when I walked down to the machine, one of the freshmen (who I had never seen before) asked me if I was Zetorux. I thought that was really funny. Anyway, the whole fucking point of this entry is that I don't have any god damn paper towels. I'm really confused as to how I have all of this cleaning stuff but no paper towels. What is wrong with me? I think I'm going to go buy some right now. P.S. Our p3 is still on the crashbox. What the hell? It's been over four months, lol Current Mood: relieved (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 19th, 2009
11:30 am	Random pictures Warning: Large images ( I find the most random shit on my hard drive ) Current Mood: bored (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 16th, 2009
5:31 pm	lol I'm bored, hi LJ Current Mood: sagacious (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 9th, 2009
8:21 am	It feels like you're constantly pooping! It recently came to my attention, after reading Adrian's most recent entry (friends only), that there is a severe lack of people who appreciate the thrills of the little escapade we had last year on the trip down to Virginia for Have at it: The First. Thus, I have valiantly assumed the responsibility of resurrecting the awe and utter exhilaration of that experience in the only form I see fit: Fuckin' MSPaint illustrations. It should be noted, however, that there already exists an old entry on the subject. However, it doesn't have any FUCKIN MSPAINT so why would you want to read that? All right, so the context of the story is, there were a bunch of us cool kids from the Pittsburgh area who made plans to head down to Virginia for this tournament and shit. And since we had an overwhelming number of cool kids, we had to split ourselves up into two cars. In Kyle's car, there was Nathan, Ryan, Jarred, and Tara. Andy's car had Bader, Jess, and yours truly. Although we were all having a good time, enjoying enlightening conversations about putting butter on Pump cabinets and what it feels like to be constantly pooping (not to mention, mooning Kyle's car), there is still something inherent about being immobilized in a vehicle for hours that just makes you need to scope out some bitches. So that's precisely what Andy set out to do. Now, I know what you're thinking. "But Phil, why would Andy want to scope out some bitches when there was one already in the car?" And I can understand why you'd think that, because as I made it quite clear in the masterpiece above, all he'd have to do is look over to his right and check all that fine bod. I mean, seriously, I was sitting right beside him. (What, you thought I was talking about Jess?) But what you need to realize is, Andy is a man of restraint. A good driver scopes for bitches outside of the vehicle so that he can keep his eyes on the road, regardless of whether or not there is a hot, tempting piece of ass just two feet away from him. No doubt, this world would be a better place if we were all to follow his example. But sure enough, with his mystifying ability to target attractive individuals, he soon laid his eyes upon a character whom henceforth will be designated as the hot bitch. And there she was, gracefully coasting along in her green car, the wind animating her hair like cool breeze on a hot summer day; she was indeed the hot bitch. We followed her for a while, focusing all of our effort to match our speed with hers as she blazed along the highway, but alas, it was impossible to experience the fully beauty of the hot bitch simply by gazing upon the top of her head through her rear windshield. So, Andy knew exactly what he had to do. In a sudden burst of determination, he switched into the other lane and pulled up next to her. Then she noticed us. We waved. She waved back. It was like a dream come true. Her window was down so Andy rolled down his as well. We called out to her, "Where are you going?" "Virginia Beach!" "Us too!" (We had plans to visit Virginia Beach after the tournament) "What?" "I said, we're going there too!" "Wha--" *SCREECH* OH SHIT. All right, let's back up and review what just happened. Can I just interject here for a moment? You have no fucking clue how hard it is to make gorgeous art like this on a laptop touchpad. You might think you know, but you really don't. This is fucking talent. You better recognize. Speaking of things that are gorgeous, I also want to take this moment to emphasize something: The look on her face was priceless. If I could go back and take pictures of that scene, I'm pretty sure they would look identical, down to the very last pixel, to... say... this: Okay, but seriously, we felt pretty bad for the hot bitch, you know, considering she almost crashed and all. We slowed down a bit, allowing Kyle to catch up, but there was no sign of the hot bitch behind us. Forty-five minutes passed, and we decided we were never going to see her again. But oh well. I mean, hey, at least we got to talk to her! And it's not like we could have expected to actually meet her, right? Besides, we only had a few minutes left on the highway, so we started getting pumped about the plans for the week, when just then, we saw a green car speed past us on the left. "Holy shit, that's her!" As if back from the dead, the hot bitch was at it again, blazing [with power] down the highway at speeds that only some NASCAR faggot could comprehend. Now, it seems fair to point out that there would be no point in telling this story unless we actually interacted with the hot bitch again, right? Yeah. So we did. Reenacting the previous scene, we once again caught up to the hot bitch and pulled up beside her. Just like before, her window was still down. We waved. She waved back. After making sure that there were no cars ahead of her, we yelled through the window to apologize and ask if she was okay. But this time, we decided to play it safe, cut the conversation off there, and pull into the left lane behind her. So now it looked something like this: By the way, did I ever mention that the hot bitch was a really bad driver? If not, I guess now would be an appropriate time to do so because what happened next was this: Okay, let's summarize what happened in the above sequence: Once again, she failed to notice the car in front of her slowing down and abruptly slammed on her brakes at the last minute. We saw her braking and consequently slammed on our brakes. Kyle saw us braking and slammed on his. Our car came to a stop just inches behind hers. Kyle's car came to a stop... after hitting ours. There were a bunch of screeches, some shit flew off the back of Andy's car, and the cars behind us swerved all over the fucking place to avoid some debris (and us), but we got off onto the side of the road, and we were good. It should be noted at this point that we were only a few miles from the arcade. In fact, we only had an estimated fifteen minutes remaining for the trip. The "Hey, we're almost there!" suddenly transformed into a "Uhh, hey... so..." Anyway, the hot bitch had pulled over her car as well. She came out of the car, crying, to see if we had died or some kind of shit. This is the part of the story where you're supposed to think, "Oh shit! I can't believe that! Andy got to meet up with the hot bitch after all! Get them digits, son! Gonna get laid tonight!" But unfortunately, no. (Although I wish he had, because that would have made the story so much better) He just told her that everything was cool and that she didn't have to stick around. So she got back in her car and drove off towards Virginia Beach (and probably caused at least two more car wrecks along the way). And then came the pivotal realization: After asking Andy what had happened with the hot bitch, he said, "Dude, I realized something when she got out of the car. She's not actually that hot after all!" And thus the hot bitch failed to live up to her name. What a bitch! So the hot bitch was gone, but the story's not over yet. Do you really think I would go to all this trouble to draw some sweet ass MS-Fuckin-Paint illustrations if there were only one car wreck? Fuck that shit! All right, so there we were, standing in the divide between the two branches of the highway. I had never realized this before, but automobile accidents apparently exacerbate traffic congestion like nobody's business. Like, if equivalent congestion ever existed in your nasal cavity, not even this shit would save you. Because of this, we received a bunch of honks, stares, and a few angry gestures. In particular, there was one car on the other side of the highway full of some cheery fellows whom I can only describe as "gangsta" -- these guys thought it would be really funny to lean out of the window and make fun of us as they drove past. And let me tell you, they were right; it was funny. While they were preoccupied with mocking us for not watching the road -- yeah, you guessed it -- they apparently failed to notice the car in front of them who was driving considerably slower than they were. Rather that is to say, by the time they did notice, it was way too late to do anything about it. The next events that occurred seemed as if they were playing in slow motion. There was a loud screech. Everybody gasped. I tensed my facial muscles in preparation. The screech was followed by a huge smash. God's name was uttered at least five or six times. Then, out of nowhere, the intensity of the scene was immediately dissolved by Ryan pointing, laughing hysterically, and yelling back at them. Words can't even describe how hilarious that experience was ... so it's a good thing I have FUCKIN' MSPaint! (Thanks, Microsoft!) I love Ryan. And so there we were, stranded on the side of the road at the scene of not just one, but two separate accidents within fifty feet of each other, which both occurred within the span of like two minutes. In case you're concerned, nobody was hurt. The cops came (like 1.5 hours later -- they were stuck in all the fucking traffic), we eventually got our cars out of there, Kyle's took his to a shop in Virginia, I think the other dudes got towed, we eventually made it to the arcade, I won the tournament (with special footage featuring Jboy's vocal enhancements), we never saw the hot bitch again, and everything was good. If you're curious -- and I know you are -- here are some "IRL" pictures, courtesy of Bader: The wreck scene The back of Andy's car The front of Kyle's car (featuring my ass) Jess finally getting out of the car And finally, as Adrian did in his entry, I'll similarly conclude with the obligatory morals of the story: Don't trust hot bitches when they're driving Don't assume that a bitch is hot until you can see her whole body Don't take your eyes off the road to laugh at people who wrecked Don't ever forget to take Ryan with you on all of your trips because he is fucking hilarious Don't hesitate to grab a camera if you think you're in danger of wrecking into a hot bitch Don't waste your life drawing fucking MSPaint shit with a touchpad THE END. THANK GOD I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT I'M NEVER WRITING ANOTHER ENTRY THIS LONG AGAIN FUCK YOU P.S. I'm deeply sorry if I offended anybody in the telling of my rendition of this memorable adventure Current Mood: mischievous Current Music: Riskay - Smell Yo Dick (16 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 8th, 2009
7:08 am	Toothbrush Do you ever look up popular terminology of the hip hop argot at UrbanDictionary solely to laugh at the fabricated definitions? If not, you should. Take, for example, "Superman." Given that the word was popularized nearly two years ago, I'm sure everybody is more than familiar with the intended definition. (At least, I know Jarred's mom is because, as you'll recall, I explained it to her over dinner sometime last year) Here's the #1 definition on UrbanDictionary: Superan; When you are mad at your girl for not having sex with you. So when she falls asleep you masturbate and cum on her back. After that, stick the bedsheet on to her back and when she wakes up it's stuck to the cum and she has a cape like Superman!!! "Yo, dawg, Last night my bitch was being frothy so I have her a Superman" Right? Everybody knows that. It's pretty stale, not to mention, there's a blatant typo in the very first word. I think you'll find these to be more satisfactory: A Superman is when you take a crap so huge that it makes two turns in the bowl forming an S shape. This is very similar to a "Crowd Pleaser" shit because you want to show somebody your accomplishment. "Hey Uncle Jed, lookie here, I just laid a perfect Superman." What an accomplishment! When a guy is peeing in the bathroom and doesn't close the door the whole way, and a drunken girl purposely falls into the door to open it and reveal him urinating. The guy then looks over his shoulder with a creepy clownish grin. Joe walked into the bathroom not knowing that Ally would purposely superman the door to catch a glimpse Apparently the grin is key just "that guy". always trying to do the right thing with a smile that could light the whole world and a heart big enough for all of the worlds problems, also awesome at halo and pretty much everything else there is. thing1:i haven't smiled in forever. thing2:call superman. HAHAHA, this one shouldn't be funny, but... To love thy neighbor as ones their significant other. After work but before a shower. Billy Bob: How ya doin Sally: Hello Top of the Morning to ya (tips her gardening hat at Billy Bob) Billy: Oh My is that an invitation for a superman Sally: Billy Bob, What the Fuck! How dare you assume I would superman you so early in the morning before I have my coffe. Billy Bob: You are right Sally. I'm just anticipating a "hard" day! (wink, wink, cheesy as smile) Sally: Sorry you'll just have to wait until you get of work. (spanks her ass) Billy Bob: Fuck you Cunt ... I can only imagine what was going through the author's mind When a male with an erection runs and jumps on a girl and tries to aim for her hole. "Dude, I totally missed Jude's hole last night when I tried to superman her." Yeah, that sounds like a good idea Sexual act where you ejaculate on your partner, wrap them in a red blanket, and throw them out the window. The planet was dying, so in a last desperate act I supermaned her to give her a chance at a new life. Oh, that was nice of you And finally, my all-time favorite: When you fuckin' have a hard on after you wake up in the morning because you gotta pee and the only way you can relieve yourself without pissing all over the bathroom is to put both hands on the wall in front of you and then lift your right or left leg so that you penis can point straight down into the toilet bowl...and release I accidentaly knocked your toothbrush over with my leg when I superman-ed this morning. get this def on a mug And there are still many that are far worse than these. But it makes me wonder: Just how badass would it be to rap about trying to piss in the morning? Think about it. Current Mood: blank (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 5th, 2009
3:38 pm	I'm bringing this back Current Mood: energetic (12 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 20th, 2009
9:50 am	I hate it when people use "jones" as a verb ... But using it as a gerund is the worst. Seriously. ILL PUNCH U IN DA FACE 4 JONESIN (See?) Current Mood: aggravated (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 6th, 2009
3:00 pm	Hoed Hahahaha, shit. #include <stdlib.h> #include <stdio.h> #define perr(str) fprintf(stderr, "Error: %s [Line %d]\n", str, __LINE__); \ exit(1); #define MSG_SIZE 1024 int main(int argc, char *argv[]) { char *msg; if (!(msg = malloc(MSG_SIZE * sizeof(char)))) perr("main::malloc()"); // ... a bunch of code ... free(msg); return 0; } Tamir. Call me a /dʰɔ̜̃mas/ Current Mood: lol'd (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, May 19th, 2009
1:43 am	zzzzzzzzzzz Sorry for all the boring entries lately, but I thought this was weird: Yesterday I went to sleep at 7 PM and slept for 10 hours. I woke up at 5 AM. Only five hours later, I was tired again, so I slept for another 6 hours. So I woke up at 4 PM, and stayed awake for another 9.5 hours until now. You would expect after sleeping for 16 hours and being awake for 14.5 that I'd be pretty fucking well rested, but NO I'M STILL FUCKING TIRED I've been thinking about going back to bed again, but that seems excessive. I mean, I'd be sleeping more than I'd be awake. That doesn't even make sense. Maybe I'm finally making up for all the sleep I didn't get last semester, lol. It's noticeably easier to sleep in this bed too. Holy shit, it is so comfortable. Current Mood: confused (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, May 18th, 2009
6:15 pm	pretty legit HOLY SHIT, I got wireless Internet working on my laptop again. I'm so putting that on my resume. Not really, though. DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS. I just did a system update and now it doesn't work again. FUCK. Okay, got it working again. This makes no sense. Oh, by the way, the PIU Pro tournament was fun. Apparently I'm pretty good at Canon-DAD. :D Also, I'm about 11 years late on this, but lol Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 14th, 2009
5:27 pm	Re: The previous entry "I don't have much else to say here. Expect a \"WOW I'M BORED\" entry in another week, once I realize that there's nothing to do at home." A bit sooner than I anticipated Addendum: I feel like programming something. It feels really weird not having any work to do. Since I've been home, I've already been through this train of thought a couple times: "Shit, I should really be working on OS--oh wait..." (6 Comments |Comment on this)